The Official UNofficial Aries Yearly Horoscope

Ok, Aries folks... this is your official unofficial horoscope!

Yay!

OMG! This is going to be so fun...

Mmmkay...

Dear Aries,

You are giving the world a headache! For the rest of this year, you need to quit ramming (you like that, huh? How clever of me! Ramming... ) us in our hips with your "shoulda, woulda, coulda's" and get to getting! Time waits for no one and you've been procrastinating way too long, mmmkay? So, go get dressed. Comb your hair because it looks like you got dreads and you don't. And brush your teeth for heaven's sake! We're seeing some pepper in your teeth and lemme tell you that ain't (Don't even start... I know my english!) even cute! Man up, sissy! Oh, yeah! Do something spontaneous right after you read this! And uhhh... remember that thing you were thinking of doing yesterday? Well, don't do it becauuuuuse... uh, just don't, ok?!

If you're single... still...

Hmmm...

Well, this ain't a singles column. I can't help you homie! Errr!

If your in a relationship... I told you S Factor works! Get it! Ow!

Annnnd, errrr-uh... yeeeeah...

Welp, that's it!

Disclaimer: Because some people may very well take this to heart (you silly goose!), I am not a psychic. Duh! This is strictly for entertainment purposes only! :0)