Beware! Lock Your Car Doors! Dummy on the Loose!

So, as very few of you may be aware, after a 2 year hiatus, I flew back to my old lover, New York, to visit my sister and her family for a few days last week.

On the first day that I arrived, I took my sister's car and went to get a few things from Shop Rite with my mother. All done. As we began to walk to the car, my mother remembered that she needed to go to Money Gram (which was in Cigar Aficion). We went. As we exited, she decided that she wanted to walk to the shoe store. We went. Afterwards, I remembered that I needed to go to 99cents City (which was really disappointing because it was no longer a city filled with just 99cent items- it was filled with items costing 99cents + $2, $3, $4 and $5!!! What the heezy?! Then it should no longer be called 99cents City! It should be called 199cents City! Or how about 299cents City?! How about that?!)

Pety letter to the owner:

Dear 99cents City,

How could you deceive me this way?! HOW?! LIARRRRRR! Oh, and you suck!

-illmonic

Anywaaaaaays...

My mom said, "You go and I'll bring the car over!"

I said, "Mmmkay!"

I paid for the stuff and my mother and I started to walk back to the car.

DUN! DUN! DUNNNNNNN!

This is where it gets crazy!

Mmmkay...

Background Information:

My sister just got a new car- it's pretty cool. I like it! But, for some reason, (sorry Jesca! Love youuu!) she always has something on her floor! ALLLLLLLLways!

Ahahahahahahhaaaaa!

That's funny!

Today, or that day, rather, it was a newspaper.

Moving on...

We start walking back to the car and I approached the passenger side. My mom walked around the back. I opened the door, hopped in and I was deeply touched! I saw that my mother removed the newspaper from the floor when she moved the car. I don't know how she could've seen it from the driver's seat, but yeah! Awwwwh!

But, wait... where in the H-E double hockey sticks did that pink jacket come from?!

And wth put these seat covers on the chairs?!

Who the heck's carrr is dis?!

OMG!

I DON'T KNOW!

GET OUT! Shut the door! I said to myself as I tried to escape from the UNcrime I had just committed! And this is New York! Whaaaat?! OMG! Somebody is going to see me! Oh, sugar and spice! RUNNNNNNNN, GIRL! RUNNNNNNNNNNN!

But, I had on some flip flops! I can't look cute running in some flip flops! C'mon son! Luckily, I saw this kid that had on some Jordan's and I said, "Son, can I borrow your Jordan's?"

He gave me the look. That let me know to keep it movin'...

I did!

I skedaddled my happy little self all the way up to my mother who was looking at me like Iiiiiii was the crazy one!

Apparently, she walked around the car I had gotten into and back to my sister's car!

Ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

Oh, that wasn't her car?! Oooops! My bad!

Next time lock your car lady! I could've taken that pink jacket!

Ahahahahahaaha!!!

The End.

I'm not ashamed of myself.

A day in the life of Monic'... You're welcome! :0)

DISCLAIMER: A very small part of this post was, in fact, fabricated. But, I could've asked a kid to borrow his Jordan's... except for the simple yet, very real fact that I don't wear sneakers.

Ahhh, well!

Get it!

Sundays are for Writing!

See you tomorrow, my darlings... :0)

I have fans?! Whaaaat?!

So, I must admit that I didn't know so many people actually read my blog! Not many of them have subscribed but, I cannot tell you just how many people have inquired about my MIA blog posts! Golly, geeee whiz! Shucks, ya'll I didn't know! I have been thinking that it may be pointless because hardly anyone reads my pieces. So, I guess that's one of the reasons I haven't posted. Truly, I thought just a few close friends that paid attention, but, yo! I have so many people that read! They haven't subscribed (hint-hint!) as of yet, but, yes! I have people that read! Wowza! Allow me to apologize for the delay... I am now back in full swing!

Thank you all for reading and nagging me!

Sincerely, it means the world to me!

I love you! ( Insert big cheese smile here)

Are you kidding me?! Oh... you're not? Ooops! Sorry... I didn't know you were serious!

So, this was featured in Japan's 2010 Fashion Womp, I mean Japan's 2010 Fashion Week by a fashion designer that shall remain nameless for the obvious reasons...

Introduuucing...

Innntroooduuucing...

Hmmm...

Well...

You, know I don't know what the heezy this is... maybe we can put on our thinking caps and try... I mean, really, really try to figure out what this is! Because I just don't know!

I'm mad and irritated now.

Thinking caps onnn!

Shooooop!

OMG...

Let's converse about this image for a few moments...

I guess she is going to keep smiling like that because she thinks she's cute...

Really?! Oh dear goodness...

Wakka-wakka...

Ahahahahaaaaa!

WHAT is dat on her head?!

I mean, what?!

I think somebody needs to go shopping for another thinking cap...

Fierce & Fun Fashion Friday: Do We Not Love This? (Double Feature)

OMG! Shut UP!
I could cry!
Yo, Christian Louboutin is one bad mutha!

He is a straight genius! You could tell by his website that he's on something we've never heard of! But, whatever it is... Keep sipping! Go check out his website! Pure entertainment and incredible style! I love him! I really do!

Fierce & Fun Fashion Friday: Do We Not Love This?

Awwwh! Look how cute this is!

Now, some of you might question me for cosigning on this one, but I find it to be quite fun even if she isn't fully dressed! But, who cares! You could walk around the house like this! Good going Patricia Van Der Vliet for mixing stripes with polka dots! Hey, I'm all for it! For the Sex in the City 2 release I wore a mix of print and stripes with black high heels! Loved it!

Now, don't get it twisted, mmmkay? I didn't say rock an outfit with two different types of plaid, mmmkay? THAT is a straight up fashion violation and you should be issued some kind of penalty for walking around looking like a dummy- just like those chicks that wear Uggs with short jeans skirts in the dead middle of Florida's Summer! ARE YOU CRAZY?! Huh?! Are you? Are you crazy?! Apparently, and the friend you're walking with doesn't really like you because they let you walk out the house looking like whodunnitandwhy! Did you not get the "It's 97 degrees outside today, so wear flip flops" memo?!

(Inhale... exhale...)

Anyway...

Moving on...

I love this... I would skip around the house in it, too!

Don't judge me!

GET IT!

Turn the Lights Out and Listen Tuesday DOUBLE FEATURE: Led Zeppelin (Original Version), Corinne Bailey Rae- Since I've Been Loving You

Everybody listen, up! Listen up, right nnnnnnnnow!!! If you ain't up on this record right here... I feel bad for you because you've been on punishment all of your life! I'm about to introduce to you or rekindle something special between the words of this here song and your ears, mmmkay?!



Corrine Bailey Rae (Cover)- Since I've Been Loving You

I am really not one big on covers, but she gets a lighter up on this one! I actually had the opportunity to see her perform this song live! Whoa! It was no joke! I mean it was intense! This particular performance wasn't as good as when I saw hear perform, but it's enough to have you guys appreciate it! Please listen and listen hard! This is a serious situation right here!
Get it, Corrine!